Balancing Boundaries and Relationships

If you are anything like me finding balance in some things is a challenge. I find what I intensely focus on thrives, but I put so much of my energy into that other aspects of life seem to fall to the wayside. For instance. In the later part of 2019 I felt a shift in my life. I have always been that person that tries to do for everyone. If a friend was having a rough time, had a bad day, had surgery, just needed to talk etc I would make the time to spend with them. Usually that meant later in the evenings after dinner and the kids were in bed. However,  I found that late nights at a friends during the week  led to tired mornings and rough days because I didn't get enough sleep.

I find myself feeling as though every time myself or my family was invited to do something we did it. I would catch myself feeling bad if I didn't take people up on their offer to have dinner with them or go shopping etc. However, I found that saying yes to everything usually ends in burnout and for me feelings of overwhelm and sadness.

Going everywhere and doing everything for and with everyone led to me not managing things at home like I would want, because when we finally were home for a while I was too tired tired to do 4 loads of laundry or sweep and mop the floor. Around October 2019 after the death of my grandfather something shifted. I got a call from my dad and jumped on a plane that night to try and make it to see Grandpa before he passed as the doctors were sure that was the rout he was on. I was in Arizona for 5 days and when I came home I visited a friend. Through our conversation I realized just how burned out I was. How tired I was. Some of that of course was grief and dealing with my first "big loss" but I knew it was more than that! It was then that I decided to take care of me and my family first!


I know you may be thinking dah, that's what your supposed to do! But, to me, this is a big deal. I had to learn that I cannot do everything. I just cant. Don't get me wrong we were still busy, between after school activities like musical practice and rock climbing for my son and cheerleading for my daughter there is plenty of "mandatory" practices and activities, but I found myself turning down Sunday night dinner with dear friends of ours down the street. I wasn't doing the week night visits for girlfriends that I was before, and our weekend plans were more skeletal than normal. It was really nice, freeing almost and I was able to get a handle on things around home, as well as work through my sadness and grief. I needed the space and time!

While that all sounds great this was vastly different than what the people in our life were used to. I kept getting comments like "Man, where have you been?" or "Haven't seen you around in a while." or "I thought you were mad at us, you haven't been coming around." While I can appreciate the open communication from our friends I couldn't help but almost feel offended. These are my friends, how could they not be happy for me? How could they not see that I desperately needed this!? That's when I realized that it was in part my fault. If the whole relationship I have been one way and have not established good boundaries for myself and my family, of course that would be expected to be continued. It is up to you to set boundaries in your life that you are comfortable with. Boundaries that ensure that you have fun and are included, but not burnt out and overwhelmed.

Here's the thing. Its nobody elses job to take care of me and realize that I needed that time. Just like its not my job to make sure that everyone else is okay! *lightbulb* That being said, this is when I realized the epiphany in the first paragraph. When I started focusing on myself, my family, and my home that was thriving, and my other relationships were strained. I left dear friends thinking that I was mad, or didn't want to spend time with them.. Fail! In an effort to find a good balance I decided I don't need to be physically present or go to every gathering to make sure that we still have a connection to our friends and family. I just have to check in!

Checking in can be hard. We all have lives, but it only takes 5-15 seconds to send a text. I decided that as long as I was checking in via text with people we can still be connected. We can still catch up and know whats going on in each others lives. Because of who I am as a person I made a list of the people I want to check in with. When I have a moment waiting for the dogs to come in so we can leave, or waiting for kids to get shoes and coats on etc. I can look at my list in the notes app on my phone and shoot a quick text to someone. This by no means is a replacement for presence. There are times your presence is required. There are times you will have planned events. Go, have fun! Just know you don't have to and cannot do everything!

I hope you found this relate-able. More than that, I hope that you feel confident moving forward with creating your own balance and boundaries that work for you and your family!

The De-Clutter Bug

Okay ya'll, picture this... Its Mid-January and you just (barely) made it out of the holiday season. While you may not be stressing about finding the perfect gift, making it to every gathering and what your preparing for your holiday meal a different kind of stress creeps in.. All the STUFF! There is stuff everywhere!! There is generally more stuff in your home around the holidays than any other time anyways due to all the decorations. Once you add a tree and one of those cutie villages, maybe a snowman collection etc. you already have drastically decreased the amount of usable space in your home. Then you have the approximately 174 new items entering your home due to yourself and your family receiving holiday gifts!! Don't get me wrong, we are so thankful to our generous friends and family and their giving hearts, as I'm sure you are! That being said... Where are we going to put all this?!

I think this overwhelming feeling is why January is the time that a lot of people get bit by the de-clutter bug! You see, if you're like me, you can be a little clutter blind.. We have lived in our house for seven years and I found that I got decent at re-organizing all of our stuff! That sounds great, doesn't it?! Sure, that sounds fantastic. But the fact remained that when I would do the task of organizing (surely when things got out of control and stressed me out) I was never really getting rid of anything!! I was looking at these items like wow I forgot about this, and filing it away in its new tidy little spot. Everything got organized and I could breath! I felt this sense of accomplishment! The unfortunate thing is I never did anything long term to keep that stress from creeping back in. Depending on the area and how highly trafficked it is by my family my organizational efforts didn't last long and to put it simply its because there was just too much stuff!

Gone are the days of me re organizing everything that in my  house to look neater than before. I am now going through everything in my house and getting rid of items that no longer serve us, and by default having less things. Less things is less to organize and keep track of. Less to be out of place. Less to stress you out!! This is not a novel idea to some people but for me it was! Bare with me here... I am by no means what I would consider a minimalist, and I am not telling you to get rid of all of your worldly possessions, but what if we just got rid of what we didn't need? What if we just got your to your ability threshold, and in a place where your home can stay under control for more than a few hours even with kids! I'm telling you de-cluttering is the way to go, and truly such a relieved free feeling! If you're feeling like I was I want to help! Below you can find my top 4 de-cluttering tips in no particular order to get  you started on your journey.

1. Start with the easy stuff first! De-clutter your bathroom, laundry room or linen closet first. There typically isn't anything in these areas that is going to be super sentimental and hard to get rid of. Is it expired toss it. Do you even have a toddler mattress in the house anymore? No? Donate the sheets!

2. De-clutter your main living areas. The ones that are highly used and trafficked by your family. When you do this and start to love walking into a room because it looks better than before and isn't visually stressful you will want that in more areas of your home. When you start to see that it doesn't take long to clean up that room any longer, you will want that in more areas of your home.

3. Take everything out of the area you are cleaning. Don't leave any one thing in the back corner. Take it out. This will do a couple of things it will help you realize how much you have, and nobody needs that much lotion Linda! It will also ensure you give every item your individual attention to assess if this item still meets your needs OR if you should toss or donate it.

4. Do one area at a time. Even if you are tackling the whole room do it in sections. One area at a time. It is hard to take every item out of every shelf/cabinet in a whole room at one time and still function. Not to mention it can be very overwhelming. So instead break it down one cabinet at a time. One shelf at a time. One little area soon becomes a whole room and then a whole house!

I hope these few tips help you in some way! This is my first post regarding de-cluttering but it wont be my last! Comment below if you have any questions or if you have tips of your own that you would like to share!

Help! I Have Fallen Off the Wagon!!!

Well, from the looks of it I haven't done a blog entry in almost 7 years!! SEVEN! Goodness, how time flies. Well with it being the new year I figured I would crawl my happy behind back up on the wagon and get some creative juices flowing again! I am in a different place in life than I was seven years ago, yet somehow, in the same place.... Let me explain. Seven years ago my son was a toddler, 2 years old to be exact and I had the focus of making his life a good one full of those great childhood memories. I was going to be that BOMB MOMMY! Since then, he has grown up a bit, we added a daughter (now 4) to the mix and a another dog. Our old cat is no longer with us and we have a new family cat. Both my husband and I have moved jobs and are currently working in the aviation industry, and while no time is ever the "perfect" time to add something to your plate I finally feel as though my life has a rhythm that works for us. So why not start blogging consistently?!

I think through the ups and downs of life I still most of the time am able to balance being a mom and wife with working full time. Trying to keep up with friends and family while also learning that my time is valuable and I shouldn't be saying yes to everything. Now that I am back,  I will be sharing with you how I try to keep that balance, some of our traditions that I have carefully curated through the years, and some of our adventures. As great as that all sounds, we are all human so I will be sharing some speed bumps or challenges we face along the way as well. I hope that you enjoy!

DIY Baby shower gift.

Well it finally happened. My oldest friend has her first baby March 10th. She is so tiny and precious. I am visiting her in the hospital today and thought well I need to bring her something special. So I am going to share with you an awesome and pretty easy DIY baby gift for little girls. A headband holder.

Okay so things you will need

~ an empty big container of oatmeal
~wrapping paper of your choice
~ribbon of your choice
~ small candle holder with a flat bottom
~Stickers for a name if you so choose
~embellishment for the top

First you are going to wrap the oatmeal container in the paper of your choice. I had to wrap mine twice so  you couldn't see the original wording. Make sure to get the paper under the lid for a cleaner look. Then you are going to measure out the amount of ribbon you need to go around the container once. Cut it and make another one the same length. Wrap ribbon around the top and base of the wrapped container. I use E6000 glue it is by far the best that I have found. If you glue it with that its not going anywhere! Then I took a big flower and glued it to the top to give it a little bit of a decorated look. Then I used some sparkle letter stickers I had to spell out her name. Lastly turn the candle holder upside down so the open part is on your table. Put glue on the bottom (The part facing you) and stick to the bottom of the container for a more finished look. Now your headband holder is ready for some cute little headbands!

Here is what my finished product looks like! Hopefully she likes it.

Organization in progress...

Okay so a few days ago we talked about making sure that when you are organizing to ensure that everything has its own place. Today I am going to share with you the progress that I am making in my own home. Every little bit counts right? Well at least that's what I am telling myself!

I started with the coat closet. I put a crate in there for the shoes that we wear alot. Our everyday shoes. All other shoes are in our bedroom closets. Of course coats go in there as well as the vacuum cleaner, my husbands bowling ball, and the little ones bike helmet.There are hooks hung in the back of the closet that hold the dog leash. The orange crate at the top holds all of our winter scarves, hats and gloves. The blue bin is holding bags that we use to pack things for a day trip or for when B goes to visit grandma :) Lastly the white bin is holding all of our extension cords and outlet converters. Its may seem like there is no rhyme or reason for the items in this closet but it is all things we need easy access to. This may be different for your family just make it work for you!

 

Next we have my take on a command center. I love it. We have a small pocket organizer that I keep coupons in as well as receipts for important purchases (like receipts for items to remodel our bathroom.) Then there is a dry erase list. I love love love lists. I'm pretty sure it is how I keep my life together. This also makes it easy for S. When we are running low on something he just writes it on the list it seems to be working out pretty well so far. Dry erase calendar. Pretty self explanatory. I have my own planner that I keep everything in, but its nice if the whole family has a visual of what is going on. Next is the large pocket organizer. It has a "Store it" file for things that we need to keep like info for my 401K until the next statement. Then there is an "Action" file for things that need attention like bills and party RSVPs.

The next picture is of the separated try. It is the new drop center for things. There is a slot for each of us even though B doesn't really need one at the current time. Hubby puts his wallet, gum and sunglasses in there. I put sunglasses and my camera when it isn't being carried with me. It seems like a good solution to the catch all bowl we had before because this try is only for things that go with you daily.

No here are some of the dishes. I reorganized every kitchen cabinet. I did this because everything was so spread out and I wasn't making good use of the space that I had. So anyways things got more condensed together like this...

Then there is this cabinet. I wish I would have taken a before picture. This thing used to be a hot mess. Everything that was a packet thrown in a big mixing bowl and spices staked upon staked. Now everything has its own bin. Gravy's and dip mixes are in the clear container, while coffee packets and tea or in the yellow. Now I am a huge fan of the dollar store to find organizational tools BUT  I did splurge 6.99 on this spice organizer with awesome swivel action. Normally I wouldn't do this but being able to organize vertically did free up a lot of space.

Now under the sink was a big one that needed to be organized. So I got three shallow bins from the dollar store that seemed to work out pretty well. Cleaning sprays and sponges, garbage bags and swiffer pads etc.

 

Now for the bathroom closet. Everything has a place now and it is wonderful. The big pink thing at the top holds my hair stuff like blow dryers, curling irons, hair straighteners, three barrel etc. Then I have my earring tree because I usually accessorize in the bathroom in the morning so I don't wake S. Then there is stain removers and detergent. We don't have a basement so our washer and dryer is in the bathroom which I though may be annoying when we moved but I actually really love it! Paint as you can see. Don't let it freeze in your garage or its not usable!! Also it makes it easier for small touch ups if you keep at least a little of paint stored in the room. Then we have pet meds for flees and such in the orange, the two blue baskets contain jewelry like bracelets, charms for my necklaces etc and the pink basket is for makeup. Then the baskets on the bottom are split into lotions and body powders, hygiene products like face wash, toothpaste etc and meds/first aid.

 

Now I am not by any means the Queen of being organized but I am working on it. Just a little progress. I am currently working on the rest of the house but had to share. I am really proud of how things are coming along.

 

Also I would like to add aside from my spice rack splurge all of my bins and baskets that I organized with have been from the dollar store. I whole heatedly believe that is the best place to go to find things to organize your house for as little money as possible. Who wants to spend a fortune doing that? Well thanks for tuning in and as always leave your comments and opinions. Tell me what works for you. TTYL

 

 

Everything in its place, and everything has a place.

This is a saying that you hear all the time, maybe especially from your mother, am I right? well what does this mean to you? When you hear this you pick up, clean up, straighten whatever you want to call it. Well I'm sure that the majority of us have a rough idea of where things go and are supposed to go in your home, but if your not careful it doesn't take long for things to get a little cluttered and chaotic.

SOLUTION: Everything cannot go in its place if not everything has a place. Yes everything. I know this seems silly. You are thinking to yourself right now Dah lady! But if you think about it can you tell me that every single item in your home has a designated spot? A spot that maybe not just mom uses but everyone in the house because that place is that items known home.

GAME PLAN: Re organize! This is so helpful. We just moved in September and we got rid of a lot of things that we no longer had use for, so you would think that would help right? Wrong. Because when we moved everything got put in a place, but nothing seemed like it was in a well organized, permanent, really makes perfect sense that's there spot. So the game plan was to re organize! I started little by little one project at a time. The coat closet, baskets in the cubbies, other living room space, kitchen cabinets, top of the fridge (always gets cluttered in our house) spear bedroom, bathroom closet, bathroom cabinets, rest of bathroom and vanity, B's room, and lastly our room. I literally did one thing at a time. Its not so overwhelming that way.

THROW THINGS AWAY OR GIVE AWAY: As I was going through all of these steps and cleaning and re organizing these different spaces I was really being active in throwing things away that are no longer needed or giving them away to someone or some organization that could use them. If you haven't thought twice about it in over a year get rid of it. If you came across it cleaning something out and and forgot you even owned such an item get rid of it. Don't keep things just because. There is no need to keep items because you may one day need them if you haven't needed them in all this time.

BINS, BASKETS AND CRATES:  Use plastic bins, wicker baskets, crates etc. Whatever system works for you and in  your space. There is nothing better than having things organized and easy to find. Even get or make some labels that way no family member that can read can claim they didn't know where that goes :) My bathroom closet for instance has bins for different things. One for lotions and body powders, one for hygiene stuff like shampoos, toothpaste etc. and one for medicine items. This keeps like things together and easy to find. It also makes less clutter happen, Everything has a place and if it goes back in the designated basket then it looks like it did before it got taken out... Wonderfully organized.

Tomorrow I will be posting pictures of the newly organized residence! Hopefully this gives you a visual of what I am babbling on about and maybe even inspire you to whip your house into an organized shape! Until then ta ta for now! and remember Everything in its place, and everything has a place!

Some Wonderful Winter Fun

Well winter isn't just about the holidays, although all that stuff is fun too! Today I would like to share with you some of the fun things that we got to do with B this winter so far. We haven't had a lot of snow this season so there hasn't been any snowman building or anything like that, but I think that we are still trying hard to make things fun!

I try to find things that are put on by the community, I feel like its always good to support your community to it can thrive!

This year we went to a tree lighting at a local park, and this was really cool. Aside from there being a tree lighting they had musical entertainment. A really nice funny woman who sang a lot of holiday songs with the kids, There was hot cocoa and other treats and indoor activities like making crafts. The best part though, I have to say was they had awesome photo ops with Santa, Frosty the snowman, Rodolph, and even a Gingerbread man!!

Beez was a little starstruck but Rudolph!! He couldn't take his eyes off of him! So all in all that was a great trip and something that B really enjoyed and maybe I liked it a little too!!

For the first time ever this year we actually got to put lights up outside our dwelling place! Its so nice to have a home not a house or an apartment, but our home to our own! So this holiday season we were so excited to put lights up on the house!! Well, I was excited I don't know if my hubby was thrilled about going out in the cold up on a ladder and hanging all the lights but he did. What a guy huh??! B also thought he was very helpful in this process and loved to watch what daddy was doing!!

B also got to be in the holiday parade that our city puts on. I thought he would like it but man was I wrong... He loved it!! He truly had a blast waving to everyone lined up along the streets. He just kept yelling "HI KIDS" and throwing fist fulls of candy. I think we will definitely be doing this again next year! And no that's not coffee in his hands that is hot cocoa! LOL

Well that's all I have time for right now!! I hope that you guys are having as much fun reading these as I am writing them. And maybe even giving you ideas or inspiring you to spend some fun time with your families!!